The Lonely
I get it. I really do. Hearing about um...the distance. That's how my depressive episodes go. I've even written about it here—the um...to revel in the distance between people. And to hate people who interfere. It's an odd way to be, I guess, but it just gets to a point. I mean, take right now. Right now, I'm nearing (I hope) the end of a depressive episode. For maybe two weeks now, I've not been truly talking to anybody. Well maybe one or two people, technically, but it's been the exact same it was before. So horrible. So so horrible.
The worst of it being the newfound focus, and time I find myself with. So much time. To just be alone. And it feels awful, and great. So great. Knowing that I have so little care for myself, I can now care for others. Like Martin's reflex to worry about people, sorta. Because as much as I can now care for others, worry for them, what does that really mean, now that they're so, so far away from me?
But then again, that's just depression. I don't believe any of that. I am full of love, and I will forever talk to the people in my life, I guess. I just have to sit around and wait for someone to pull me out of it, unknowingly. Which, I mean...waiting is...sort of depressing. Doesn't really help.
Well Anyway. I said, when talking about myself and Jon, once,
Is it still Bipolar II if it's induced by an entity from another realm?
And it stands true. What a world.