Sleeepigng
i don't usually write about stuff like this here, but i have nothing else to do.
right now, my internet boyfriend is asleep on the phone. he called me just to sleep. i wanted to talk, before he fell asleep, as to perhaps help him fall asleep, but my throat is killing me. umm. usually i can't hear him like this, but, i can hear him breathing. in a very regular way. i think he's, what, a bit sick too, right now? so, perhaps that is why i can hear him, now. my phone sits on my stomach, above where my laptop, in my lap, is. gosh. its just my favourite ever. sleep. sleeping.
sometimes, when i'm doing very good, (um, hypomanic, most of the time), i spend so much time talking to people that i sleep a regular amount. and while i am doing good, i always end up missing it. sleeping for days at a time.
earlier today, or yesterday, or some time recently, i saw a tweet that said something like: "i feel such an odd way watching my loved ones sleep. why are you going somewhere i can't follow?" and that's just! wow!!! that's so true. although, it doesn't make me sad, or anything, really. um.
i just think it's great. that our dreams are our own. and they're so fucking...cool, and special. and i just can't think of anything more intimate than sleeping at the same time, sleeping in the same bed with somebody! when my nightmare is over, and i open my eyes, there you are! i can't imagine what it's like to not have dreams. i have relied on them for as long as i can remember. even though mine are usually horrible, i mean, they're still somewhere else to go. something to remember. i just like that a lot. every night we'll go somewhere on our own, and in the morning, we can talk about what we were up to.
and of course, i mean, fuck! they're what we want! what we fear! what we just barely let slip our minds! our brains are just so cool. how did you catch that? how are you seeing things that i'm not? and then you're kind enough to show it to me! i'm just sooo honoured. to be allowed this time. to let my head show me things or whatever.
maybe its just the edater in me. i've just always found that sleeping on the phone is great. i don't like waking up alone.