log 10
hey guys. i think there are 15 people here right now. i'm...tired. i am tired.
i'm thankful for all of the ways i've changed. i say that a lot, but i don't know, it's just very hard to...believe in meaningful change, personally, when the same things happen every 2 weeks without fail. my brain feels sorta useless.
but here we are. i pay attention to where i look, in recent times...and in what ways i move. i'm slower. i'm careful. it's refreshing and stuff. christ i am so tired. not um. i mean iguess i'm a bit tired as ins leepy but. i'm gone! i'm gone. i'm so gone. i'm. where am i. it's ok. i gotta keep it lighthearted. i need tooo keep remembering that. its ok. its ok. i am hurt. i am hurt and light. and stuff.
gosh, this is like, when it was bad, a while ago, right? this is like hands!!!!
here i am drinking shit i don't like. well. what a mild form of self harm This is. must be the best, right? its temp. i mean so is...so is like a lot. i could be drinking or something, doing real real perma damage to my head. i could be smoking. i...really could be smoking, actually. i have no idea how i'm not already. i spend so much time thinking about it, and i know exactly how i'd go about it. BUT it is ok this is ok. LMFAO, thank god i do not have my hands on anything truly harmful. i wouldn't try. i spend a lot of time thinking about all it or whatever, but it's ok, 'cuz i have my own shit to be doing. drinking gross coffee and walking at night. ghhl its ok oits ok its iITS so ok. it really is. HUZZAH