log 1
i actually don't have anything i want to say i don't think. this is sort of a big deal. i mean, there is lots i could say, and lots i'm thinkin about, but i think i'll be okay even if i forget them, or whatever. although it is just the usual. the very usual.
there is too much to keep track of. i wonder if i'll ever find a solution. i'm trying to. to think about it rationally, maybe cut down on what i keep? maybe money really is all i need, and maybe to understand technology better? maybe i can keep it all digital. but then again, will digital ever be reliable? but, then what? analog? in what way? analog takes up a lot of space. space is the thing i worry the most about, you know. so...so what? and storage aside, the actual tracking, documenting, whatever...it's time consuming, and i'm very inefficient.
what can i say, i'm a sucker for change. not the best proclivity when you're also interested in mediums that require the least amount of change as possible.
but that's a thing i've been thinking about for about a year now—just how much leeway there is. i don't know when i first noticed it, it must've been something small. maybe in a manual? something formal. maybe it was something in history. some sort of recovered journal or something. whatever it was, it for the first time occurred to me just how non conforming older methods of record keeping were. nothing was well kept! there were so many notations and methods, and really, what matters, is that you can just interpret it. i mean, does it really matter what order the date is in, as long as it's clearly the same date either way?
probably not, i thought. so i decided to slowly stop caring so much. and it's worked, it's given me much leeway, and made me a um...a lot less stressed about that. i wonder if anyone reading this could understand just how stressed i have been, like, my entire life, just...just in the back of my mind. about something so little. every time a format changed i was just miserable. it felt like um...i was just doomed, i guess.
but it doesn't matter so much. so now here i am, mostly over that, trying to focus on what matters. interpretation, access, and time. making it easy to understand, for myself now, quick reference, and the future, as well as easy to find, physically and otherwise. time is the most important. finding the time to record, and considering the time in the future that i, or anyone else, will have to actually care. so, time is directly related to what's moresooo...'importance'. relevance, sorta. keeping only the special stuff.
but that's so freakin hard. so hard. to know what to keep...with so many formats.
and then! and then, all this aside, i just...when i do feel like writing, i need to talk about sameness!!! how we are all the same. it's all i think about these days. oh the End how i understand you...but it. it's alright. i'll figure it out. how to keep track. and record it all—in a way that is helpful and nice for future me. in a CONSISTENT way.