hhj log 19
I KNEW IT WAS OVER RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING
SHE LOOKED HIM IN THE EYE, SAID "WE'RE NEVER COMING HOME."
Ahhh I miss Disco Elysium. I miss not knowing anybody. Oh Oh Oh Freedom Come Back to Me. No Emotional Responsibility! I was a freeee Soul. As Ill as I pleased. And I went to talk, and there was no one to listen, and I went even More Insane. How awesome is that? Fueling yourself like that? Oh Man. I was so out of it. I have no idea how I got anything done. Everything was like, life or death.
SHOUT-OUT TO MY BOY SAMMY WINCHESTER BTDUBS CUZ. CUZ YOU KNOW WHAT. Actually YEAH MAN go DARKSIDE Go Darkside like NOW. YOU GOT IT. Cuz it sucks doesn't it. Being tempted and having it be part of you and not being able to explain it to anyone else and trying to hold good ethics when you Sort of are jusdt How You Are. Oh Man. And you don't wanna AHHhhHHAHHHHHH OH MAN SAM WINCHESTER YOU LUCKY DUCK. GO KILL SOME PEOPLE WITH YOUR MIND. GET IT OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM HAHAH
NO SAM. No Sam No yo ucan't be "done with it" its part of you! I know you want to be cuz you hate making your brother sad but Ohhh Boy you're not Done with anything. GET THIS BOY SOME MEDICATION STAT. Sam never stop projecting. Never ever. I am taking it as advice. I loveeee Supernatural
I keep having horrible Nightmares. I can't remember clearly what they are about these days, but they're not like um HORROR ESQ ones anymore (for the most part). I'm not talking about a really spooky short story featuring me and my family. I just wake up feeling dejectedf and I keep remembering my friends berating me or disliking me for numerous things that Did Not Happen. I remember their tone and the way they looked at me, which is awesome, um, and I keep forgetting that it DIDN'T! Happen. That's such a good kind of Nightmare. Glad they invented those, the kind that pretend to be memories. I REALLY have to WONDERRFR what its like to go to sleep and just wake up. Holy Fuck. It must be nice It Really Must be nice. You aren't even facing consequences for your loathing. It's really great.
I go to eat and remember stealing food, and I go to giggle and remembering bullying, and I go to Look in the Mirror and I Remember Their Faces! Looking at me! And this is great. Because Well where did my brain get all this from anyway, you know? I cannot blame it for using my own stuff against me, but, gosh! I wasn't even thinking abou tany of that. But I'm glad it brought it back up. How many times today have I gone to message someone or eat something or be happy and had to stop without even thinking 'cuz of the Fear my Own Nightmares put back in me...subtly. I don't remember exactly why I don't want to eat, I just feel bad for someone somewhere. That's great. That My Own Dreams put back in me. Not fair calling them Night Mares I don't think...They're Dreams.
In any case, I love Dreaming, and I wouldn't give it up for anything. Helps you go insane and stuff, helps me... helps ME go insane and stuff, I mean, and um. And well that's always great. No wonder I go fucking crazy when I stop sleeping. Dreams are important OK
WISH IT WAS OCTOBER WISH MY HEAD WAS SPINNING
SHE LOOKED HIM IN THE EYE, SAID "WE'RE NEVER COMING HOME."